Setting the Table
A connected family is something that must be fought for. In the early days of family life when parents are overrun by the new exercises of selflessness brought on by parenthood, a couple fights for connection with each other. As kids grow, there is a fight of schedules and availability for commitments that can be realistically made. As those kids become involved in building lives to pursue their own interests yet are dependent on transportation being provided, the fight is for windows of togetherness. These are the days that we are living in the Green House. We are fighting for connection as a couple, fighting our flesh with even new levels of selflessness that come with a new baby, and fighting to balance a very colorful calendar that is jam packed. My family is feeling all the stages at the same time.
We are fighting for time!
One of the most tangible ways that we attempt to preserve togetherness with limited time is by having a meal together. Connecting around the dinner table can be a beautiful experience. Some of our deepest laughs and silliest moments are shared during this time. It’s not perfect; we are still training with manners, respect and courtesy, but it gives us a common footing that I treasure as a mother. I look around the table and I capture these moments that I know won’t last forever, but that I hope will become the norm, something anticipated as my children one day set tables of their own.
It doesn’t have to be fancy to be intentional.
When we moved into our current home, we switched up the floor plan a bit to create a large dining room. This was a room that we had longed for and dreamed of one day having. We knew that we wanted to host friends and family around that table and purchased furniture to maximize the space. Yet, we didn’t want the room to only be occupied when others were joining us. We wanted to use the room too. Our kids coined the term: Dining Room Dinners, affectionately known as DDs. This became a regular dinner time meal that we would have in the dining room instead of at the breakfast room table where we usually share our meals. DDs take a little more effort. The table needs to be set more intentionally with a protector and tablecloth. The hot pads and serving utensils need to be considered. Sometimes, we light candles and use cloth napkins. On DD nights, we do a little bit more.
Another thing that we like to do is to make place cards. At times, it’s a folded over index card or a hand drawn picture and names written in big block letters or newly practiced cursive. This is something that our kids like to take care of, so I lean into their ownership in the preparation instead of perfection. Here at the Green Addition, we recently created a place card template specifically for this season; the transition of summer to fall. The card features a portion of a hand painted piece, titled Transition, including the word GATHER on the front and TOGETHER on the back. When we set the table for intentional moments to connect and gather, we are building something that lasts. Placing handwritten name cards at each place communicates a desire to share the company and an invitation to build togetherness with those around the table.
Our dining room is a special place in our home, one of my favorite rooms to be in. I love the rhythm of having Dining Room Dinners that we look forward to. I love planning the meals that we will share on the nights that we are all home, seated around the table together. On these nights, we tend to stay at the table a little longer, share a little more, and savor the moments of togetherness.
I encourage you to plan a meal soon for family, friends, or maybe neighbors. Consider including a handwritten name card and use the real dishes. It doesn’t have to be fancy to be intentional. Plan to do just a little bit more as you set the table for a carved-out time to gather together.
-amanda